First Soccer Match in more than Forty Years: Out and About with PTSD
Last time I went to a game was back in the 1970's when Bournemouth hosted Newcastle United. You see, I’m not a soccer man at all; football means rugby league to me and to just about anyone brought up in Yorkshire.
Anyway, I get a call one day offering me a ticket courtesy of the Bournemouth Cherry Veterans, a branch of the club that arranges events and day trips for veterans and families living in the Bournemouth Area. Since we live on the Bournemouth War Memorial Homes estate, we are lucky enough to be invited on a regular basis. While I have been invited to matches before and said no thanks, this time was different. Since the pandemic hit, I haven't really been out a lot due to health risks and I felt it was about time I got out, so yes please. Also, there was a hint of my needing to prove to myself and Caz, my wife, that I could go out with a bunch of people and the PTSD monster would remain in its cage.
Saturday November 12, 2022, Bournemouth vs. Everton 3pm kick off at the Vitality Stadium.
Being as it was the weekend of Remembrance, we were asked to wear our medals; something I've not done before.
That morning was a bit apprehensive about my physical health, arthritis in knees and back being main concerns, and of course how I would cope being in amongst that amount of people. Don't get me wrong, I was confident I could but still... You know. Being as it was the weekend of Remembrance, we were asked to wear our medals; something I've not done before.
At the stadium we were seated behind what would be Everton's goal for the first half, which turned out to be pretty good as most of the action took place at that end, including 3 goals. The one-way direction of play continued throughout the second half, so we didn't see much, but that was alright. By now I was just getting into the energy and atmosphere in the stadium which took me back to when I was a kid. The roar of the crowd, the cheers, and groans, okay the drummer just 20 ft away was new, but the atmosphere was great. The number of people around me wasn't a concern. The fact that my wife wasn't there wasn't bothering me. The coping tools stayed in the toolbox. I had enjoyed the experience.
The hardest part of the day was getting on and off the bus and yes, I was relieved to get home. Not because I needed to be in a safe place, but because I needed a hot drink and a bathroom. That's a really big thing for me, and when Caz told me she was proud of me I didn't question it — I just said thank you because, you know what, I'm proud of me too.
A note from Caz
Yes, I worried for a while though not so much as in the past. I knew the people Lez was with and I knew he had coping strategies if he needed them. So, trusting in Lez I put some music on, put my feet up and chilled out. A soon as Lez came in it was clear I had worried that bit for nothing. I am so proud of him and what he had accomplished through his work with therapists though would say Lez has never had to prove anything to me and he never will have to. Love doesn't need proof .