Fighting Repetitive Negative Thinking (RNT) with Words of Affirmation in Four Easy Steps

Written By nkech nwokolo

A lot of people, regardless of whether you have a recognised mental health difficulty, can suffer from Repetitive Negative Thoughts (RNT). The question is, how do we stop it? How do we break the habit?

RNT can look like a lot of things. Most of us would call it ruminating or worrying. It is often related to the past or the future, an event or issue that is creating stress. You begin to think about ways to fix the problem. So far so good, except that these thoughts begin to pile up in a way that is not helpful or constructive. You become trapped in a paralyzing cycle that damages your self-esteem, and mental health.

RNT can develop at any point in our lives, but it may have started from childhood, triggered by a prominent figure in our lives. This could be a parent, a sibling, a teacher, or even from being exposed to too much negative press. When a pattern like this has lasted for so long, of course it is difficult to break. And thus:

man with headphones and glasses on holding his head

Stop berating yourself for being affect by and having these thoughts.

Step One: Stop beating yourself up for having Repetitive Negative Thoughts.

That won’t change anything. You already know these thoughts are self-defeating. Berating yourself adds more weight to a burden that is difficult enough to bear. Over time, RNT builds up in our minds and becomes a constant conversation that it is not easy to shift. It isn't an issue to think about things negatively at some points in our lives; we have all done it. However, when the predominant, ongoing voice in our heads is one of pessimism and gloom, you need to implement a voice that counteracts this. It isn't healthy.

Health Implications of RNT

Negativity literally damages the body and the brain. RNT creates an environment of constant stress, and prolonged stress is known to exhaust the immune system. This causes problems like IBS, heart problems, digestive problems, and can even put cells under duress that could lead to cancer. Alongside these physical effects, RNT can also cause Anxiety, Depression, OCD and Stress-Induced Psychosis.

On the other side of that, positivity gives our bodies and minds strength enough to fight whatever battles we might face in a day. Our immune systems are healthier, and our minds and moods are robust enough to deal with the general stresses of each day. Not to mention that optimism also increases serotonin levels, which make us feel really, really good.

RNT has no place in our minds without an RPT (or, better yet, Words of Affirmation)! So, what could your Repetitive Positive Thoughts sound like?

Everyone needs a tool. When we go to build a table, we need measuring tools, a hammer, perhaps a saw, and a whole bunch of nails. The tools for RNT are a list of positive words and statements that can be written on your phone, your bathroom mirror, your journal or as a poster on your wall for you to return to repeatedly. It is predominantly a case of shifting our perspective. Hopefully, this will be a little easier than constructing a table! It is likely to take a lot longer, but worthwhile in the long run.

So, next move?

Make a U-Turn on those Negative thoughts. Change the Pattern. Step by step, you can take control of your own journey.

Step Two: Change the Pattern. When you meet your Repetitive Negative Thoughts, kick-start that other muscle in your mind that is positive!

Repetitive Negative Thoughts tend to miss out the constructive part of what our more 'negative' or 'logical' thoughts should hold. Allow your positive thoughts to carry some of that productivity value instead.

The problem is that our thoughts know us so well, so they sound terribly realistic. They - we - know our history. Maybe you have a huge exam coming up. You hear your RNT telling you how you failed your last exam. "You failed it before, you will fail it again." Does that sound like it has a point? It doesn’t.

Negative Repetitive Thoughts are only aware of the past. They don't consider the future, our potential, and our ability to grow, develop and learn from mistakes. Everyone slips up; we should be allowed the chance to dust ourselves off and do better. Even if that means we make the same mistake again.

Analyze the cycle of your thoughts and spot their triggers. When you do this, it is so much easier to find ways to help yourself become more positive. So, how can we turn this RNT around?

Meet "I failed it before" with "I have studied more this time. I can only do my best, and I will. I am proud of myself for trying again, and for having aspirations."

The more we make an effort to push the positive voice of encouragement, our chosen Words of Affirmation, the more it becomes natural. Like riding a bike, or switching the car to autopilot. Before we get there, we have to do the work. It just takes finding the right balance, and pedaling as hard as we can towards better mental and physical health.

You are worthy of love. Repeat.

Step Three: Feed your mind with Words of Affirmation, and believe them.

It will not just be enough to meet the Repetitive Negative Thoughts with a positive sentence or two, whenever they turn up. For this method to really work, it takes carrying your Words of Affirmation with you, always. They need to become the cycle, because your switch is currently set to negative. You need your positive counter-response to be automatic.

Use your Words of Affirmation to change your perspective. Believe them. You are beautiful, and you are doing your very best.

Once you've done that, the solidifying factor is your own belief in what you are saying. Words of Affirmation aren't lies, and it is vital to remember this. Regardless of the mountains you are up against, it isn't unrealistic to give yourself the benefit of the doubt. With a little verbal encouragement, we have a little more strength and the confidence to complete tasks. If you can beat yourself up mentally, why can't you build yourself up instead?

Example: Where I Would Like to Be

You are dissatisfied with where you are in your professional life. You aren't where you thought you would be, ten or fifteen years ago. You feel lost. You feel unmotivated and indifferent to the future. Your Repetitive Negative Thoughts have taken control. However, in the time being, what have you achieved? You have gained skills. Which ones? Write them down. Write the skills you would like to develop for your professional goals. There are many you will have gained on whichever path you are on. Some of these could actually be useful for your aspirations in ways you did not realise at first.

Perhaps you have always wanted to own your own hotel, but you've been managing a coffee shop. There are a lot of transferable skills there! If not, there are still things you can say to keep your morale up:

"I am not where I would like to be, but I have learned x, y, and z. I am doing well in this position, but I am ready for the next step. For the next six months, I will put a quarter of my paycheck aside to save up for a course to become a hotelier."

Regardless of whether it takes longer than those six months, you can use your Words of Affirmation to congratulate yourself on starting. You are actively doing something. If you had begun to save six months later, you would be six months further from your goal. That, you can believe.

How to implement Words of Affirmation

Start from knowing who you are. You can't make a believable affirmation about yourself from something you aren't sure of, so get to know yourself! For this task and this tool, it is absolutely vital to love yourself and build yourself up. (And, if you don't yet, you will by the end.)

What are your good points? What are the things that make you feel the most negative about yourself? Are these things you can actually change, or are these things you have to change your perspective on?

Write in a Gratitude diary. Celebrate your achievements, and write down your goals.

Again, it really helps to write these things down. Celebrate your positivity and the small things. Have a gratitude diary, fill in what you're grateful for, and these will continue to feed the positive affirmations in your life. Read over them again and again if you have to. Say them out loud, into a mirror. While you're walking to the bus stop. On your way to work. Smile while you do it! Make it fun, but make a point of declaring it.

The more we say something of ourselves, how capable we are, how confident we are, how beautiful we are, the more it becomes true. It helps to also surround yourself with like-minded people, who are eager to build you up rather than tear you down. What does your support network look like?

Begin your day with a cup of coffee and your Words of Affirmation.

Step Four. Begin.

Which, really, could be Step One; start your day with your chosen Words of Affirmation.

It can be anything you like, but we'll give you a few examples down below. As you get better, you can develop your own.

  • I am confident.

  • I am capable.

  • I am worthy of love and understanding.

  • I am improving myself, and getting better each day.

  • I cannot control my past, but I can make moves towards my future.

  • I am beautiful.

  • I am making moves and I am motivated. My mistakes do not define me.

  • I can't wait for what tomorrow has in store for me

  • I am grateful for everything I have, and working hard for what I don't

  • I am healing at my own pace, but I am healing.

  • I am full of growth.

You can do this! We believe in you.

We, at Freo Well-being, are aware of how hard it can be to fight Repetitive Negative Thoughts. It can feel like an uphill battle- but we can turn that to a beautiful hike, up a scenic mountain. See what we did there?

If you need help developing the tools you need to go on your journey to positivity, be sure to contact us. We have available services such as Stretching, Meditation, Yoga, Breathing, Anxiety Management and CBT. We also have mentors, Lived-Experience experts and anxiety coaches to support you on your journey and keep you focused. All of these can help you develop coping mechanisms for RNT, and Words of Affirmation.

Written by Nkech Nwokolo and Isioma Nwokolo.

nkech nwokolo
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