What are True Friendships?
We all have people in our lives we’d regard as our true or best friends. People we’ve known our entire lives, or for long stretches of time. Those who we trust and know better than anyone else. We all need someone we can call our ‘rock’. Someone, or a group of people, who stand by us through thick and thin. Those are the signs of a true friend. In this blog, we will be discussing the importance of true friendships within modern times, and how to maintain them as you progress through your life.
How do I know someone is a true friend?
This is a difficult question that has only become harder to answer in current times. Social media has made it easier than it ever has been to socialise and stay in touch with people, but oddly enough, in the last 43-50 years, “loneliness has increased in emerging adults” (source - Psypost.org), and while the evidence does not point definitively to the increase in social media access, there are some theories that wonder if indeed that is the case. When we can supposedly reach our friends at all times with instant messaging and social media platforms, how can we still ever feel alone? As mentioned in the Psypost source, another theory has to do with expectation, and whether our friendship and relationship goals match with our realities.
However, this is complicated with how busy our lives are. We often forget to keep contact with those who mean the most to us. Especially when we are caught up in work and other commitments. A true friend today is someone who you aim to always make time for, and they will always aim to make time for you. Regardless of time and distance, you endeavour to message or call them. And, when you do, it tends to feel like no time has passed since you last spoke.
There are many other factors that can indicate someone is a true friend, such as:
Good Communication
Communication is more important than it ever has been today. Knowing where you both stand with each other and communicating your feelings well is a great way to maintain a long-term relationship of any kind.
Have a break
Sometimes friendships might need some breathing room to continue being healthy, and that’s okay. A break is something everyone needs. Plus, just because you need one in a relationship isn’t a sign of anything bad! It shows you value the relationship and simply need some personal space. It’s a sign of self-respect and respecting the needs of others. Being able to be honest between friends when you need space too can be a sign of the trust you both share for each other.
Setting clear Boundaries
Having clear boundaries is extremely important to maintaining healthy relationships. Lack of boundaries can be unhealthy and stressful and can lead to a lack of trust in your friend. Ultimately, this is the backbone all true friendships. If you’re interested in learning more about boundaries, we have another blog post about it here.
These are just a couple of examples of how to spot a true friend, but the honest answer is one only you and your friend would know. Whatever makes both of you comfortable and trust each other is something only you will understand.
Don’t fall into ‘the Chasing Trap’
Loneliness is a huge problem today. Whilst having a true friend be available to keep you company when you need it is great, sometimes they might not be available. When this happens, the temptation to find other friends to fill this gap can grow. While it’s good to have multiple friends, don’t get caught in the pitfall of chasing people. Chasing other people is extremely toxic for your mental health and can cause you to develop low self-esteem, and anxiety. In times like this, it’s important to remember that you are and should also be a valid friend to yourself. One thing you need to bear in mind is Equality. Equality is extremely important to remember. Friendships that make you feel like you’re lesser than your friends aren’t healthy for you. They aren’t true friendships if they make you feel bad about yourself. Friendships that make you feel good about yourself, and others, are a good sign. These are friendships you should invest in.
Communicating and Relieving Stress
Stress isn’t something that should come from being friends with someone. True friends can rely on each other, without concern. And of course, enjoy it! Being open with people is not an easy thing to do. However, around a true friend, you should feel comfortable talking about anything.
Feeling stressed about relationships is okay and completely normal, but to feel consistently stressed about a friendship is a cause for concern. If you feel like you are on edge or constantly worrying about judgement within your relationships, you should bring it up with your friend and discuss it. As mentioned, being open about feelings and honest is one of the best things you can do in a relationship.
Final Thoughts