Am I a people pleaser?
People pleasing is a skill. It's a practise between making others happy and maintaining your own sanity. Some people are naturally gifted at it, while others struggle to find the right balance. It has positive and negative aspects, and excessive people pleasing can do more harm than good. Here are some observations about people pleasing that you may relate to:
You say yes to everything.
People pleasers have a hard time saying no. Whether it's a work assignment, a social event, or a favour for a friend, you're always willing to lend a hand. Sometimes you even say yes before you fully understand what you're agreeing to.
You're a master of small talk.
You can talk about the weather, the latest news, or the most recent episode of that popular TV show everyone is talking about. You may not have anything in common with the person you're talking to, but you still hope to make them feel comfortable.
You avoid conflict at all costs.
We all hate conflict, but not as much as people pleasers. You'll do anything to avoid a disagreement or an argument. Sometimes this means avoiding certain topics or people altogether. Other times, it means going along with something you don't really agree with just to keep the peace.
You apologise for everything.
You have the tendency to apologise for everything, even when it's not your fault. You're always worried about offending someone or doing something wrong, so you apologise just in case.
You have trouble making decisions.
You're so concerned about what other people want or need that you forget to consider yourself. When faced with a choice, you may ask for input from others or choose what others would prefer.
You feel guilty when you can't please everyone.
No matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone. So you start feeling ashamed or guilty for not being able to accommodate certain individuals. You may berate yourself over it. But remember, it's impossible to please everyone all the time!
You pretend you are fine
No matter what, you make sure other people don’t find out how you’re truly feeling so you don’t “bother or worry” others.
If this is you
Don’t worry! You’re not alone. We are all people pleasers to some degree. You just need to start learning how to balance and listen to yourself. We have plenty of helpful articles, videos and workshops (coming soon) to help with that!
